Babysitting Sitch
by Alpha Man 2.0
Summary: ONESHOT. One of Kim’s typical babysitting jobs turns into something way more challenging, especially when Duff Killigan disturbs the “peace.” Please read and review kindly! Thanks!


Hello, all! Here's a special present for you fans of Kim Possible: my first oneshot ever! I hope you like it! This short story doesn't have anything to do with my main series; it was just a nice little idea that popped into my head. One of my favorite villains makes an appearance here... hope you find it amusing! Thanks for reading! Enjoy!

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"Babysitting Sitch"

By Marvel Man

Kim Possible rang the doorbell to the Washington household. There weren't any missions tonight, so Kim figured it would be all right if she took up a babysitting offer. She needed the money: that brand new Club Banana purse and pants combo wasn't going to buy itself. This'll be cake, Kim thought. Babysitting is easy – way easier than dealing with Drakken or talking to Josh Mankey.

Kim wore one of her usual outfits. No, it wasn't the traditional light-green tank top and blue pants, it was a white shirt (relatively sleeveless) with a heart in the center. Her pants, of course, were pink, and she was getting anxious waiting by the door. Kim pressed the button incessantly until a tall man opened it and smiled.

"Oh good," he said, "Kim Possible, you're here! Excellent! The Missus and I were just heading out! Now, do you know everything about little Seth?"

"Yes, Mr. Washington," Kim answered, "your wife faxed me the list. I already memorized it."

Mr. Washington raised an eyebrow, "I must warn you: he can be quite a handful."

"No big," Kim said, smiling. "I've babysat hundreds of times. I know every trick in the book. What, does he have the runs?"

"Um, well, I'll let you find out for yourself – if you think you can handle it." Then he turned to the stairs behind him and glanced up to the next floor, "Eh, Honey? Are you just about ready to go?" He turned back to Kim, "She's always taking time to get ready. What is it with you women? Isn't twenty minutes enough?"

Mrs. Washington soon emerged from the upstairs bathroom, still brushing her hair. "Is Kim ready to take care of Seth? I outfitted his little bow with something special." She then picked up the toddler Seth from the floor, where he sat playing with his toys. Mrs. Washington pointed out the bow that was attached to Seth's single strand of hair.

"Come on, honey," Mr. Washington said to her, fixing his tie, "the Agency wants us to give a speech on the new micro-technology that we developed."

"Yes, yes," she replied, "I know. Kim, are you all set?"

Kim nodded, and the two parents smiled and exited their house. Mr. Washington gave a small wave back to Kim and signaled that he and his wife would return around eight o'clock. Kim waved back, confident in her baby-sitting skills. She watched as Mr. And Mrs. Washington got into their car and drove away. Then, she turned back to the baby, Seth.

"Okay, you," she said to him kindly, "your mom and dad said you like Pooh Bear. So I brought you a special new video that I'm betting you haven't seen." Kim pulled it out of her backpack, and Seth cooed. He bounced on his butt, clapped his hands, and giggled like there was no tomorrow. Kim winked at him and put the DVD in the player. Immediately, a round yellow bear in a red shirt appeared on the screen and started singing.

Seth was suddenly entranced by the animation, and Kim was content, so she pulled out her homework, sat at a table close to Seth (to keep an eye on him), and started working. "Hmm," Kim said to herself, "I need to write a paper on the Civil War or, as those in the South say, the War Between the States. Well, I already know that Robert E. Lee was the general for the South, so I suppose I could start there—"

Kim's thought process was interrupted by a large crash. She jolted her head up abruptly to see what caused the raucous. Sure enough, it was Seth. He had pushed over his parents' plant or something. Anyway, Kim was suddenly peeved because now she had a huge mess to clean up. Seth just sat there, giggling. Kim sighed and walked over to where the mess had been made. She squatted down and started cleaning it up. Afterward, she glanced up to see that Pooh Bear was pushing stuff off tables in the movie.

"Okay," Kim said, "maybe that movie isn't the best thing for you." She brushed off her hands and picked Seth up. "What do you think about a story?" she asked the baby. Kim knew that he wasn't exactly capable of response, but his wide grin was amusing nonetheless. So, Kim sat down with him on a rocking chair. It was surprisingly stiff. Maybe this was _Mr_. Washington's chair.

"Once upon a time," Kim began, "there was a little boy who was terrified of a place called Camp Wannaweep. Why, you ask? Well, for one, he touched poison ivy without knowing it and then he was scratching himself all night long. So, don't touch something if you don't know what it is, okay? Then, there was this monkey and he…" Kim suddenly stopped because her right leg felt unusually cold. When she lifted Seth up and glanced at it, her leg was slightly wet (but nothing to be alarmed about.)

"Whoops," she said in a sing-song voice, "looks like someone had a little leak, huh?" Kim stood up with baby Seth and walked into his parents' room. She lay Seth down on the bed and tried to undo his diapers. Now, it was commonly known that Kim Possible could do anything, but in this instance people would consider that statement a fallacy. Sure, Kim had easily taken off Seth's diaper, but now there was a minor problem. Kim had forgotten to grab the new diaper out of her backpack!

So, she tried to lift it out with her foot. The backpack, by the way, was set on the chair next to the bed and was not terribly out of distance. Still, Kim thought her cheerleader limberness allowed her to perform such an acrobatic motion. She succeeded! Kim had raised the diaper out of her backpack and flicked it with her foot onto to the bed. Then, she lifted Seth off the bed to where he was eye-to-eye with her. She kicked the bad diaper off the bed, and it landed square in the trash bin. However, the entire time since Kim lifted him up… Seth had been peeing on her.

Kim hadn't realized this until she looked down at the new diaper. She screamed abruptly when she saw a yellow stream splashing upon her chest. "GROSS!" Kim cried out. Seth looked at her, and his expression said: _what, you've never been peed on before? It's what I do!_ Kim gave him a look as well, saying _Oh you think this is funny, don't you?_ In response to this, Seth giggled.

Of course, Kim had babysat before, but she usually could avoid the urination. She still couldn't believe this baby up n' peed on her! Seriously, couldn't he just let it all loose on the diaper? No, he just had to go and stain her shirt! She didn't even bring any spare clothes, a bad decision in baby-sitting. Kim thought that her experience had taught her enough to where she didn't need to take silly precautions of amateurs. "You little—" Kim said, but she stopped herself, remembering never to cuss in front of a baby.

Kim corrected herself and instead said, "That's it! You are so done!" She quickly strapped on the baby's diaper and prepared him for his crib. Then she remembered the list Seth's parents sent her: her memorization skills served her well. _Always give Seth a bath before putting him down for a nap or bedtime._ The smell of the urine disgusted her. However, if she wanted that Club Banana item, she would have to do the job. So, she held her arms outstretched to the full length – keeping Seth as far away from her as possible, and also so that he couldn't pee on her again.

Kim set him down on the bed and quickly trotted over to the bathroom that was connected to the master bedroom, eyeballing Seth every second that passed by. She took exactly three seconds to turn the faucet of the bath (precisely to the correct number of degrees, as stated by Seth's parents in the fax.) Kim whipped around to see that Seth, although still lying on the bed, was urinating all over the place. She yelped a little bit when she saw this, and even more when she saw that he was rolling along the bed, letting his river flow.

As Seth laughed (as much as babies can laugh), Kim tried to compose herself despite the utter grossness of the situation. This baby was peeing everywhere; that's just gross, no matter what way you put it. Finally, Kim threw a towel over Seth, only to see it become increasingly wet. That darn baby had made quite a mess! Well, at least it wasn't spraying everywhere. When Kim picked him (and the towel) up, she carried him over to the tub, and he was finally finished. Who knew a small baby could have so much to let loose?

"At least that incident's over with," Kim said to herself as she gently lowered Seth into the warm tub. "You're really going to make me _earn_ that five dollars an hour, aren't you?" she asked him. Seth cooed and splashed in the tub, making Kim's clothes wetter (if by this point that was even possible.) Kim glanced down at her outfit: it was completely ruined. She would need to make another trip to the mall and buy a brand new outfit. Was it worth it? Well, that was still debatable.

She sighed. Kim sat outside the tub, but her arms were playing with Seth inside the tub. She made sure to rinse him off and all that, so now he was finally ready for bed. Maybe Kim could get some homework done. She tucked him into his crib right by the window and reluctantly kissed him on the forehead. Within seconds, Seth was asleep, almost as if Kim's kiss was angelic and ethereal.

Kim looked at the baby and then at her shirt. The pee had stained it… forever. There was no way she would ever wear this thing again. Oh well, it's not like she was going to see Josh Mankey or anyone that would care that she had baby pee all over her white shirt with a heart. Still, she had really liked that shirt. Anyway, Kim had to start thinking about homework. Where was she? Oh yes! Robert E. Lee was a General for the South…

The sound of Seth's crying broke her concentration. Great, what was it now? Please don't let it be another wet diaper! When Kim rushed into Seth's room, she saw something rather odd: a golf club was sticking in through the window and had hooked onto Seth's (new) diaper. Then Kim heard a familiar voice, "Oh, pipe down, ye wee laddie!" Kim gritted her teeth: she knew only one person that spoke with such a strong Scottish accent.

"'Wee laddie' is right, Duff Killigan!" Kim said as she removed Seth from Killigan's golf club. The bearded Scotsman peeked in through the window and shouted, "Eh? Kim Possible? How is it that a lassie like ye-self is 'rounds these here plains?" Kim rolled her eyes at his accent: it got annoying after a while. "Babysitting," she answered. "Eh? What's that? Ye mean ye are babysitting da same baby me be tryin' to be gettin' me hands on?"

Kim suddenly saw Duff Killigan's shadow and silhouette leave the window but soon heard him enter through the front door. He had whacked the doorknob off with his putter and strode in for that baby! When he saw Kim, he couldn't help but chuckle. "Eh, what happened, Lass? Did ye go a'belly crawlin' in da sewer? Ye are covered in pee!"

"No duh," Kim said, slightly irritated.

"Well, it be no matter if ye are covered in mulchie, I be havin' that there baby, or ye be one to never stop Duff Killigan!"

"Um, I know I've fought you several times," Kim replied, "but what did you just say?"

Killigan's expression became entirely serious, as if he was going to tell her straight out, "I'm 'ere fer da baby."

"Oh." Kim understood, but that didn't mean he was entitled to kidnapping the Washington's son. So, as she held Seth in one hand (and prayed that he would pee on her again,) she became ready for a confrontation.

"Do ye have any idea what da baby has, Lass?"

"Potty training issues?"

"NO!" Duff Killigan shouted, his accent thicker than ever. "That there baby's got a microchip! It's in da bow!"

He growled, straightened out his kilt, and drew two five-irons from his golf bag. "I hope ye are ready, Kim Possible! Duff Killigan shows no mercy!"

Kim started backing up: she couldn't fight a crazy Scottish golfer with Seth in her arms. She'd have to find a place to put him – someplace where he could be safe. For a moment, Kim wondered what exactly the microchip did, but she had bigger issues with which to deal. Should Seth go in the crib? No. The tub? No. The… Oh shoot here comes Duff Killigan!

The Scotsman didn't allow Kim to make any decisions, and he swung at her violently. He missed several times, however, but managed to break every thing his five-irons came in contact with: pictures on the wall, vases, the microwave, and others. Kim was soon cornered by Killigan, and he laughed villainously. He must have forgotten that she was a cheerleader, because she instantly did a flip over him and landed in the living room. She was finally far enough away so that she could set Seth down safely. "Wait here," she said softly. Kim set him down by the DVD player and television set.

As the teenage heroine ran back to do battle with her oddly dressed foe, the bow on Seth's head began to glow. Kim threw several punches at Duff Killigan, but he blocked them with his five-irons. Kim managed to snag one of them and clash against Killigan as if in a sword fight. Seth, meanwhile, giggled at the gigantic TV set and remembered Pooh Bear. He reached for the power button and pressed it. Suddenly, the TV came on and the Winnie the Pooh theme began playing incredibly loudly. The noise was deafening and filled the whole house.

Killigan clutched the sides of his head, "AYE! ME EARS! TURN THAT BLOODY MUSIC OFF, YE EVIL BABY! ME EARS!" Kim also was stricken with pain in her ears, but she was more afraid that Seth would lose his hearing altogether from such a loud noise. She screamed as loud as she could, "SETH! TURN IT OFF! TURN… IT… OFF!" Surprisingly, the baby complied, and the horrible volume of the happy song was gone. Kim ran over to Seth and picked him up.

"Don't ye even know what the microchip does?" Duff Killigan asked. "It supercharges any electronic device that is near! That's why I want it, ye see. I just got to have that there pow'r!" Kim had listened to what Duff Killigan said and was now stroking her chin deviously. Killigan's ranting had given her an idea. Kim ran over to the toaster. "So, this bow supercharges any device, huh?" She said as she loaded the toaster with dry bread. "Let's have a little demonstration!"

The bow on Seth's head glowed and the toaster was working quickly. Duff Killigan suddenly realized his doom. "Eh? No, Lassie! NO!" Kim tipped the toaster downwards, and in the next second, it was pelting Killigan with lumps of black coal-like bread. "You are so toast!" Kim said as the flying pieces of bread pushed Killigan out the door. He tried to block the incoming projectiles, but it was no use. The Scotsman turned back to her, raised his arms in a defeated villainous pose, and yelled, "BLAST YE, KIM POSSIBLE! AND YOUR BABY TOO!" He was silenced when a piece of toast was shot into his mouth. Killigan's eyes blanked and he passed out.

Kim turned to the baby and winked, "Nice work, Seth."

Minutes later, the police had arrived and were escorting Duff Killigan off to jail. Meanwhile, Mr. and Mrs. Washington had returned, and they were glad to see that everything was okay. Kim smiled as she pointed out that Seth was asleep in his crib, and the Washington's thanked her. Before she left, though, Kim peeked into Seth's room and gave a small wave. She wasn't sure, but she thought that the "sleeping" baby had actually waved back.

As Kim Possible walked off back to her own home, Mrs. Washington gazed out the window. Her husband soon joined her. "I think she did all right," Mrs. Washington said.

"Yes," Mr. Washington replied, "I'm sure she'll make a great mom someday."

THE END


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